New Beginning...sort of

The deal is done, the decision is made. I have plunged into a new program here in town to help me loose weight. They did a metabolic test today to determine how many calories my body uses just to live in day. They are looking at the amounts of oxygen and such that my body uses while at rest. With this information they will create a menu plan for me based on how my body works. Included in the program is also sessions with a personal trainer. While I am a little anxious about the physical aspect of all this, I am more apprehensive about the food. I have become dependant on food to help me cope with emotions.

Wow, I think that is the first time I have ever actually stated that, out loud so to speak.

At any rate, the journey begins. I have twelve weeks to figure out how to eat correctly, to learn how to work the gym I am paying for each month and not using. I don't mind going to the gym, just don't know what to do when I get there.

The other day when I was feeling sorry for myself about looking like I was the one pregnant, I had a fleeting thought. How much could I loose if I put as much energy in to exercises as I do sitting at this desk? Of course it is so much easier to just sit and work on projects, read over things on the computer, that the thought just kind went in one side the brain and right out the other, but then came back and just kind of secretly settled in to be a little flash of awareness enough times to be so annoying that it just can't be ignored any more. So, tomorrow I will start learning how to eat better, smarter, and taking one hour a day for three days a week, to make a better me.

I took mom shopping today, found a few things for me as well. I only bought one pair of jeans, one shirt, one pair of shoes, and two purses (come on they were clearance for $3 and originally $29) found so many things that I hope to fit in to about 3 months from now. Plan to get a haircut this week as well, time for that summer cut. In fact, it is time to take care of me for a while, do a little something for me. I know it is selfish, but I can't take care of everyone else if I can't take care of myself from time to time.